223. The Emotion Coaching Playbook: Handling Pushback and Building Trust (Part 2)
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You’re the parent, or stepparent, who wants less conflict and more connection. But a child’s resistance, sarcasm, isolation, or hurtful words, such as: “you’re not my dad,” can derail plans and result in hurtful interactions.
We’ve been there.
In part 2 of this mini-series, you'll discover how to respond well in tough moments of pushback by using John Gottman’s 5 steps of Emotion Coaching. You’ll hear us role-play around real-life pushback when a child is competing for a parent's love, making accusations and threats, and behaving oppositionally toward a stepparent.
We'll offer a better way to manage those moments with words that help kids feel seen, heard, and understood. We'll also show you the best approach for addressing poor behavior and setting boundaries.
The plan is simple: notice the emotion, treat it as an opportunity, listen and validate, help label feelings, then set limits while exploring solutions. Practice this, and you’ll be surprised at how you can lower the tension, build relational safety, and strengthen your connection with a struggling child.
When pushback hits, it is possible to move away from reacting in ways that don't help and instead, create an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect, and real connection in your home.
You'll Discover:
The 5 Emotion Coaching steps from John Gottman (with wording you can steal) and why each step matters.
How to decode what’s going on underneath pushback and respond in a way that helps your child move through pain, loss, anger, sadness, and confusion.
When and how to set behavioral boundaries so that kids are more open to receiving and responding well.
A simple script for stepparents to defuse “You’re not my dad/mom” moments while building mutual respect and understanding.
When and how to engage in problem-solving with your child and foster real buy-in, confidence, and trust.
Resources from this Episode:
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman
Episode 222. Step-by-Step Guide: Facing Painful Pushback Without Making Things Worse [Part 1]
Episode 194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]
Episode 195. Connecting with Kim's HARD Child - Facing the Challenges of Parental Alienation
Episode 210. Is Your Child Pulling Away? Here's How to Respond with Wisdom and Love
Episode 211. 8 Warning Signs Your Ex is Manipulating Your Child's Heart and Mind
Episode 92. At a loss and feeling defeated because the kids stubbornly refuse to blend?
Episode 132. How do loss and grief impact blended family integration?
Episode 189. Bringing Hope to the Realities of Grief: A Path to Understanding and Healing [with Krista St-Germain]
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We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession
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