Enter Mike

Mike and I met at work and started out as friends. Much to my surprise, we fell in love and just knew we should be together. Annika was now 5 and she naturally enjoyed Mike. Their connection seemed to be easy.

But I’ll never forget the night before our wedding when she voiced her objection. In true five-year-old style, she announced that I shouldn’t marry Mike because “He talks too softly on our answering machine.”

It’s funny to think about that now, but what I didn’t realize at the moment was that our pending union was most likely perceived as a loss for little Annika. She was probably wondering what changes were ahead and how her life was going to be impacted.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Several years into our marriage, Mike and I were blessed with two mutual children who are seven and nine years younger than Annika. Annika’s dad also remarried and supplied three more half-siblings in Annika’s life.

Annika went from being an only child with four devoted parents/stepparents to having five half-siblings added into the mix over the course of a few short years. She had to adapt and adjust to many changes and this wasn’t always easy. Annika is all grown up now and was greatly impacted by my decision to marry Mike. He grew in his role as a stepfather and has positively influenced Annika’s life in many ways.

Peaks and Valleys

Before blending our family, I had no personal experience with blended family dynamics (my parents were married for over 50 years before my dad passed away). I grew up watching The Brady Bunch — however, our blended family journey has never resembled the Brady Bunch. Not even close!

Thankfully we were able to attend a stepfamily conference prior to our wedding and gained some insight into what was ahead. We began meeting with other stepfamily couples to connect and continue learning about specific dynamics that impact adults and children as they navigate the dynamics of blended family life. All of this, as well as valued mentors and counselors, have helped us manage and overcome the struggles we’ve faced. Things like:

• A contentious relationship with my ex-husband, which led to three years of adversity in the family courts

• Years of supporting Annika as she struggled emotionally and reacted in defiant and destructive ways

• Relational and financial stressors pressed in on us, bringing our marriage to the brink of divorce

• Recovering from our personal wounds of the past (mine include chemical dependency issues and loss)

A Passion for Purpose

Over the years we’ve come to realize that every blended family is unique, distinct, and complex. The unfortunate reality is the step-couple divorce rate is approximately double that of first marriages creating even more loss and heartache for adults and kids. And after living in our blended family for more than two decades, this doesn’t surprise me. Making it work can be overwhelming.

But there’s good news too!

Mike and I believe in a world where blended families can experience a future full of hope, connection, and peace. We can all begin to change the cultural statistics by learning new ways of living stepfamily life and putting that learning into purposeful action. Our passion is to encourage, educate, and equip blended family couples with understanding and practical skills to strengthen their marriage, nurture their kids and stepkids, and create peace, loving bonds, and stability in their homes.